Sunday, September 5, 2010


With the unofficial end of summer about to become a tiny image in the rear view mirror and the new school year upon us I worry about bullying. It's an age old tradition, isn't it? And not a good one.

Why are children so mean to one another? I think it's because kids struggle with low self-esteem. I've read some experts say the cause of bullying is the exact opposite and in this day and age of overindulging I see their point.

I wish I could fix these kids basically so they'll leave my kids alone. And other kids too. NO ONE should get bullied. NO ONE.

Unfortunately, I don't buy into some of the methods the schools try to enforce. "Let's use our I Care language." Newsflash: Kids are still bullying each other. Those rules are only good for the kids who would've never bullied in the first place. (Kind of like hand gun laws, but that's a blog for another time.)

This leads me back to self-esteem. If a child feels good about him/herself, then they don't need to waste the time making other kids feel badly about themselves. How do we accomplish this? At home!
  • Sit down to a family dinner every night. It's a great opportunity to hear about how your child's day went.
  • Take an interest in their school work. Praise them for a job well done.
  • When you're disciplining your child make sure they understand what you don't like is the behavior. Make sure they understand you love them no matter what.
  • If your son or daughter is hanging around with a kid who has "mean moments"ask your child how he/she feels when they're with this person. Then ask them how they feel when they're with someone they really like. This empowers them to choose who their friends are and teaches them how to pick better kids to hang with.
  • Lead by example. Be kind to the people around you. If you walk up to an existing conversation and start whispering in someone's ear and leaving the others out you can bet your son/daughter is doing the same thing. Honestly, it's just plain old mean and you've taught your kid how to be mean too. And don't think they aren't watching you. Kids are smart cookies.

The world could be a better place if everyone felt good about themselves. I know it's possible and it starts with the kids. Talk to you later...


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  2. Hey Stacey,

    Working with kids for almost 20 years has taught me a lot about bullying. Here is what I find works- diffusing the situation with humor.

    Bullies are kids that deflect their own inadeqaucies and the fact that their own needs are not met- they turn on others. So as we try to raise kids with all the social skills and all the self esteem, there are still so many kids that do not have the skills, have not been taught and are using words to hurt others.

    My tips:
    1. Don't ignore the bullying
    2. When a bully says something to you- say so what. It takes the power away from them. Then try to use it in a humorful way.
    3. If it gets violent- report it. That bully has bigger issues.

    Just my two cents!!

  3. Great tips! I hope everyone takes the time to read them and put them to some use! I know I'll pass the message along. Thanks for joining the discussion, anonymous!!