Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Bad Parenting

I heard on the news yesterday a school system in NJ is taking away the "D" grade. Beginning in September the students can earn an A, B, C, or F. The school thinks removing the ability to earn a D will make the students work harder to get better grades. Possibly, I think.

Then I hear about another school system in NJ who took away the D and the C. Now I'm not liking this idea so much. Without the D or C it means the ranges for B's and A's must be larger. So, what does that say to the students?

I'm not entirely sure, and would like you to chime in on this, but I think this new grading system is set up so the students won't feel badly about themselves. A "D" or "C" on a report card doesn't look that good it says you're average or below average. And we wouldn't want anyone to feel average, now would we?

Are they really asking students to rise to the occasion? The school with no "D" increased the ranges of the other grades. Now a "C" is 70-79. I'd like to tell you what the "D" range was when I was in school, but I never got a "D" because I would've had my head handed to me. Funny, how that works. Parent says, "don't get a D or else," and student doesn't get a D. More parents should try that.

And that leads to the very thing I think is wrong with the world. Bad parenting. It all comes down to bad parenting. If parents did their jobs maybe, just maybe their children would rise to the occasion. Set the bar higher. They will reach for it. It means a lot more work on the parents part, but who said this was going to be easy? Anything worth having usually isn't and I don't know about you, but I'd like to see more children grow into determined adults not afraid to face adversity, able to offer kindness to others and know how to spell, write, and handle math problems. How about you?

Talk to you later...


  1. Hi Stacey,

    Good, provocative post. Not sure if I'd use the term 'bad' parenting but I believe many parents today are either(1) overwhelmed and way too busy b/c of work, home, kids' activities, etc to have the energy effective parenting takes, or (2) too timid and/or underconfident when it comes to having their children displeased with them. (Case in point: the mom who probably got paid a ton of $$$ to admit on prime-time TV that she couldn't stop her 2-year-old from watching 9 (!) hours of TV a day. (Are you kidding me????)

    Our parents had no problem threatening to hand us our heads (which we knew they would; none of us had a clue DYFS even existed nor would we dream of threatening our parents with that!). And yes, discipline is tedious, tiresome and makes me want to pull my curls out but it has to be done and done consistently. I also do my best to explain to my kids why their behavior is unacceptable, but in a quiet, non-threatening voice.

    Last thing: Went to a conference years ago, about 10-15 years after the practice of giving kids only positive feedback in school. Guess what? Those new adults couldn't handle being told they were wrong in a job situation.

    So I'm done now--thanks. Sorry, no scary story stands out, maybe b/c I don't like feeling scared? But Cape Fear is among the movies that scared me the most. (Sneaked my electric-green stuffed tiger--Iggy--in with me for that one and glad I did too.) Never watched Silence of the Lambs more than once either. Too creepy. (I know, I'm a wuss.)

    Joanna Aislinn
    The Wild Rose Press

  2. Great topic Stacey! I think this ties in to what you and I where discussing last week where there are no winners and losers anymore in team sports.

    I fear with the new grading system you described more kids might try just to coast along to get the B or C grade rather than really applying themselves.

  3. I don't know if this is the best place to post this because I don't know who will see it, but I'm troubled by Joanna's comment that parents are too overwhelmed with their lives to have the energy needed to be effective parents. It sounds to me like those parents may have their priorities mixed up. (I know I ruffled some feathers by saying that. No one wants to hear they could be doing something better.) I'm a firm believer a parent's first responsibility is to the child. We owe them the energy and time it takes to raise them the best way possible. I'm sure when we have all reached the time in our lives when most of our years are behind us it won't be the hours spent at work we'll miss. It will be the times spent nurturing relationships we'll long to hold in our hands like a rose in bloom.